casimiera: (beginnings)
2014-07-11 12:17 am

(no subject)

oh hello old journal. my fingers are slightly rusty from not being used to write things in journals, but maybe i'll try it again. back on LJ, back on dreamwidth.
casimiera: (Default)
2011-10-07 07:57 pm

Paintings and the meaning of life.

Went to Cheap Joe's today for art supplies. 52 dollars later and I am now the proud owner of these:

2 palette knives (I lose them easily), three brushes and three tubes of paint. I'm very excited about the paint. One is a darker version of my favorite color (and was really really expensive), Naples Yellow Hue. Ever since I found that color, I use it in all of my paintings. Love love love love. So yeah. It is the deeper version of it. It was only in the professional grade oils section. I usually buy student grade because I'm cheap and also have no money but I really liked this one! I refrained from buying the light version. Took a lot of effort let me tell you. I shouldn't go into art stores. Anyway. Also bought two very nice tubes of brown. Brown Madder and Vandyke Brown. I love brown. When you mix it with other paints you can get this really dark and rich color and I just loooove that. I'm a fan of earth tones so I'm surprised I managed to only leave with three tubes. As for the brushes, I think I bought maybe two new brushes back in 2008 when I started painting again. The other brushes are from 2003. So I needed some new ones. I also broke my filbert, and that's the one I primarily use, so definitely needed that. I wanted to buy a canvas and some acrylic paint as well, but I refrained. Too expensive and I wasn't going to use my credit card to pay for the paints. I had 55 bucks in my purse, so I was pretty lucky. But still. Those paintbrushes were expensive! But they should last awhile so that's good. I still have three canvases I can use for paintings but I really liked the shape and size of the one. 8 x 16. I thought it would be a unique shape and would be fun. I'll get it next time.

For some reason this post sounds really strange to me. It's me yet not me. I don't get it. Oh well.

casimiera: (beginnings)
2011-10-07 11:14 am

Behold the wonders of the internet

I admit, I am not an avid commenter. There are times when I am commenting on everything, and there are times when I don't comment at all. I think on a journal, removing someone for not commenting on your entries is not a big deal, actually, and I can understand why people do that. I don't do that. Even if you never comment, even if you hardly ever post, I most likely won't delete you, mostly because I find people fascinating (as a person who isn't the biggest fan of others, that could be considered hypocritical I suppose), but I like the fact that with an online journal, we allow people a small look into our lives and let them see that we are actually quite similar to many different people.

The one thing I find distasteful is removing friends from Facebook, especially if they are people you know/knew and were/are close to. I had a friend who randomly deleted me from myspace. I no longer have myspace, nor did I really check it, so I didn't care that much. Then he deleted me from Facebook. We were really close and while I admit we hadn't talked for a while, you'd think he'd like to use me for networking, since I had told him that if I ever found out about any graphic design jobs that I couldn't do, I'd send them to him. So it was a bit of a shock when he did that. I sent him a short, very nice message about it, and he told me he randomly cleans up his facebook every once in a while and I shouldn't take it personally. Well, I suppose I shouldn't. That is his choice if he doesn't want to list me as a friend on facebook. It's also my choice not to give him any references when graphic design jobs come my way (which they do from time to time).

I think it's completely different when you are friends with someone from high school you haven't talked to since high school, or maybe even earlier, and they remove you from their list. But when my friend from graphic design removed me, stating it was nothing personal and that he just liked to clean up his list from time to time, that just annoyed me. Then again, I do hope he doesn't remove his girlfriend from his list. I would hate to see the wrath of the girlfriend scorned by facebook. It would be quite entertaining, but still scary.

So in conclusion, if you like lots of comments from your online journal friends, I am probably not the best person for that. I do try, but I admit, there are times when I have nothing to say. Doesn't mean I'm not reading.

There's my little rant/just some information for you to know. :) I do love to read about what goes on in other people's lives. Makes my life seem so...well, I don't know. Just makes it seem like my life is pretty normal, since I see people struggling with stuff that either I have struggled with, or am struggling with. Or may struggle with in the future. :]
casimiera: (Default)
2011-09-06 11:29 pm

cats drive me nuts.


He has been off and on this couch with me all day. I've been here since Saturday. Apparently he forgets who I am and finally decides I'm acceptable. Still. BEST. CAT. EVER.
casimiera: (silence)
2011-05-31 10:32 pm

(no subject)

The mere sense of living is joy enough. - Emily Dickinson

It is better to dream your life than to live it, and even though you live it, you will still dream it. - Marcel Proust

Why is it that the dreams you find yourself dreaming are nothing like the dreams that you are living? I can see the poise, the confidence, but then it hides in places that I cannot go, and am left standing alone, feeling the meekness and frustration that I thought I banished somewhere else, but alas, I forgot to lock the door.
casimiera: (Default)
2010-12-10 07:03 pm

(no subject)

Read more... )

One of my favorite places is Middlebrook, VA. A lovely place, where friends gather for good times and to create art. It seems that the people keep getting younger every year, which is fine, but it is strange as well. You cannot help but compare each visit with the next.

One of my favorite things to do there is go to the Blackfriars Playhouse, which is an Elizabethan theatre and they put on Shakespeare plays, as well as others from that era. It gives a whole new light on everything about Shakespeare, because seeing how others interpret the stories is much more interesting than just how you interpret it. Another thing which is fun is that some of the audience sits on the stage itself. How wonderful! The actors interact with the audience in this way, and "They do it with the lights on." Hehe.

Last year when I went, two other ladies and I went to pretty much every play we could. It was wonderful. There were a few times where we actually snuck out of "class" and left to do so. I think my favorite was Romeo and Juliet. Quite a funny play, actually. And it was even more fun since I was a part of it since I was sitting on stage. Even had to kiss one of the actors. I blushed quite a bit afterwards, but it was so much fun! I wish I could go up there more often, because I really love that theatre and the people who work there.
casimiera: (Default)
2010-11-28 09:11 pm

old but new

From 5.18.2010

Seems like I'm trying to write something and I'm not. Words should flow. Should is the most important word in that sentence.

Who is behind the iron mask? Facades creep and instruments fail.

1. I have bruises on my knees. Battle scars. One of my veins is bruised too. A mere war wound. Fight to the death where everyone is not. 8pm.

2. I am impossible to clarify. Troubled souls drown in undiscovered depths and ideas come forth with reckless abandon. Selfishness overwhelms people and they cannot see past their own glory. Kindness blossoms in them, but naive surroundings encompass them. There is no fight that cannot be won. There is no ideal that cannot be sought. Frightened voices call out, and saviors reign.

Condescending to enable is enough to drive anyone mad.

But! Happiness is a virtue one cannot overcome.

[When will we learn to take turns?]

3. Who is that man in the iron mask? Who is the old man behind the curtain?

Called by true names...

How many different people are we? I look at that in frustration. With strangers I am quiet and shy, but with people I know I have no problem speaking. Simple things embarrass.

My mind flies a mile a minute, trying to think of something, anything, but it really doesn't work. Maybe I'll pass. Do I read, or not? I'm a bit tired of this. Perhaps it is because everyone tries to be clever, to the point that it is absurd. Just write. No one is judging you. Well, no one is judging you a lot. Not all of us are brilliant writers all the time. I realized that last year, and it is a huge relief. Now if I can just accept my faults and realize my potential, life would be just peachy. Bitter, bitter, bitter.

But bitterness is nice for a change.
I always find it interesting to see what I've written in the past. Sometimes it makes no sense to me now, but I know it made perfect sense when I wrote it. That can be frustrating. Trying to be clever and brilliant is awesome, but when you forget the reason why it is so clever and brilliant, not as much fun.
casimiera: (geisha)
2010-11-17 07:28 pm

(no subject)

i live in shades of gray. there is no extremes. no black as blackest night, white as whitest light. my thought process keeps me working through far too many things, and sometimes it seems like i might destroy myself by thinking too much.

everything can be hazy at times. i know [i think i know] that maybe there is something else to the world, but i like to hide away, and then wonder why things move on. i've moved on, but just not far enough. without time, i can't seem to find anything.
casimiera: (tea)
2010-11-16 07:03 pm

i'm not that girl...

it's frustrating to try to be happy all the time. it's like the world expects you to have everything turn out okay, and you aren't entitled to feeling sad. it's not like it's self pity. it's just a lack of effort, a lack of individuality that seems to make my blood boil. probably doesn't help that my serotonin is messed up. but hey, it's not all bad. is it?
casimiera: (Default)
2010-11-12 04:29 pm

(no subject)

i can't seem to get away. but something new might just be the thing.